Saturday, December 8, 2012

Stoner Living: Superstar Snacks of the Stoner World

When marijuana comes up in polite company, the conversation quickly dies or turns to the capacity for the plant to stimulate appetite in a supernatural way. This is a fact universally accepted about marijuana and the people who love it: stoners can discuss this with non-stoners alike in business settings without blowing their cover. It's the 'talking about the weather' of the pot world.

Marijuana is famous for its power to lure smokers down the salty snack aisle. Cautionary articles about state laws laws conflicting with federal law include snarky quotes exhorting smokers "not to break out the Cheetos and goldfish yet."  Hmm. Cheetos(R) and Goldfish(R) - let's start there. Both are the bright orange color of personal protective equipment, making it convenient for unwitting stoner who drops their snacks into their bag of weed. Bright colors and unusual textures seem to titillate the stoner palate. Cheetos brand cheese snacks also owe their place in stoner lore to their lounging orange mascot Chester Cheetah. He's a pretty laid back cat.

There is something fun about the Goldfish cracker - it's small, bright orange and it looks just like a goldfish. Their shape is very flickable - you can deftly get the Goldfish to go wherever you want it to go with speed and accuracy. Want to look cool flicking your snack food up in the air and catching it in your mouth? This is the snack for you, stoner. With the irregular shape and weight of a Cheeto, it's a reckless game, but it's a sure thing with the Goldfish. You'll impress everyone present with your ability to feed yourself.

The ultimate stoner cookie is a matter of personal taste, but the Oreo deserves special mention in the commercially-made sector. It's nothing like any home made cookie which is mysterious if you think about it, from both a cookie and a filling perspective. But we digress, because the Oreo is delicious. When you twist it apart, you get two cookies to enjoy! Regularly appearing seasonal and limited edition offerings through their year keep the brand relevant, and food scientists removed the trans-fats from their filling years ago.

One hazard of Stoner Living is making the decision to bake once the munchies have kicked in. Stoner households are more prone to baking situations than non stoner households. Sure, everybody bakes- but baking situations arise when stoners make renegade decisions and chart new culinary territory. Remember the time(s) the batter was so good it never made it to the oven?

Amsterdam was one of the few places worldwide to enjoy marijuana for many years. The Dutch have unique snack treats for marijuana smokers and abstainers alike. This is the land of dark chocolate and pickled herring for breakfast. And FEBO - the mysterious automat food chain, conveniently located wherever stoned people are likely to find themselves. But FEBO doesn't travel well and the crazy little automat booths never got popular here in America. Vending machines are our equivalent, but lack the thrill of discovery of biting into a fried FEBO croquette with unknown insides (will it be potato, pork or chicken?).

The world famous cuisine of northern California was defined in large part by settlers from the bay area who moved there in the 1960s. The influence of their 'back to nature' approach shows in the dedication to fresh, locally sourced ingredients, thoughtfully prepared and complimented by locally produced wine. Far from a haven of junk foods, this is an area pioneering organic and sustainable agriculture. Superstar snacks in these household will likely include artisinal cheeses and local olives along with the best bread outside of Europe.

The legalization of recreational marijuana in Washington State gives residents the opportunity to shape a new generation of fun snack foods intended especially for the marijuana consumer. We wait in joyful anticipation of the groundbreaking stoner foods of the future. Until then, we'd love to hear about your favorite stoner snacks.

Tell us about your favorite stoner snack or snacking story by email or in the comment section for a chance to win a special Stoner Living gift package including stickers and a CD mixtape.

(c) 2012 Stoner Living


  1. My Favorite is Sea Salted Caramels..oh my what an excellent balance of sweet and salty..perfect for this discriminating Stoner <3 Hubba Hubba

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